Quiet before the storm

So, today is the last day of my unemployment period, tomorrow starts the experiences of the new path I have chosen.
I feel like I want to reflect upon the past 2 months, everything has been so turbulent, with the excessive amount of free time I found my self thinking a lot. At first it seemed very unproductive, then it became scary because there was many thoughts which I earlier had paid no attention to. But during this period I got to really go over all the issues in my mind and connect the dots.
The thoughts about who I am, what I want and my life achievements was especially hard to deal with, so first I pushed it away refusing to think about it. But such thoughts I had pushed in front of me for a long time while claiming me too busy because of work and other activities. But just a few days into November after having deliberated with the AIESEC rangers I started this thinking process. This proved to have a depth I did not see to start with (and actually with this reflection now I am reaching new depths), firstly I started sorting out the straight forward and rational questions, "What do I want to do?" "Where?". Then came the offspring from these questions "Why do want exactly this?" "What am choosing not to do?", "What has occupied me in the past preventing me from doing what I am thinking of?". When these thoughts first struck me I was paralyzed because it seemed so big to think about, it was scary being so conscious about what it means to be the the driver's seat of one's own life.
This experience I had not anticipated when I was made redundant, and I did not see the value in this experience until now, only now I recognize how powerful and valuable it has been to have this time.
The result which I see is that I am more clear about who I am, I am more determined and goal oriented and conscious about my choices, since in the light of the new knowledge I have about my self I have a much better idea about what works to my benefit and what does not.

The old figure of speech "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" has yet again proven it self to be true :-)